Part One, I have Known What Love Is
by Paffy
Summary: Part 1/7. Ginny's confronts the mess that Tom Riddle left in her life with the aid of a new diary, and a certain black-haired boy who lived - but all does not run smoothly.
1. A Strangers Gift

A/N This story was written in 2003 in between books 4 and 5 coming out. It's a series of 7 short stories told from Ginny and Harry's point of view.

* * *

**Chapter 1: A Strangers Gift**

'Come on Ginny,' muttered Ron impatiently at my side.

"Ron give me a chance I've got loads of books to buy this year,' I told him, frowning slightly as I wondered how I was supposed to buy 8 new books with only 12 Galleons.

'We've been here for ages, come on I want to check out Quality Quidditch Supplies before we meet mum,' said Ron, rolling his eyes at me as I checked her book list again.

'Well you go to the Quidditch store, you can go off on your own you know. Leave me here,' I snapped getting impatient with Ron.

He'd been in a bad mood ever since the owl from Dumbledore had come back, telling us Harry couldn't stay with us at all during the summer holiday. Owls were arriving from Harry every few days and I could tell they were highly suspicious to Ron. Harry completely skirted the subject of Hogwarts, the rejection by Dumbledore and even refrained from badmouthing the Dursley's in any way.

I was taking three times longer than usual this shopping trip, because my mind is so preoccupied. I had managed a sneaky look at some of Harry's letters, and not one of them gave any mention to what happened at the end of last year. My stomach always gives an unpleasant lurch when I remembered what happened on June the 24th.

I was sitting in the stands with my mum, Bill, Ron, Fred and George when the task began. I had forgot all pretence of trying to hide my crush of Harry, and was screaming and shouting with the rest of the crowd as he made his way for the glittering cup in the centre of the maze. I shrieked with the rest of the crowd as I saw him face the boggart dementor, gasped when he came face to face with one of Hagrid's Blast Ended Skrewts, and screamed when the giant spider came out of the hedge when he was so close to the end.

I watched as Cedric and Harry defeated the spider, and watched with swelling pride when I saw him offer to share to prize with Cedric. I knew Harry wouldn't have taken it, after Cedric had saved him like that, Harry has always been fair. I remember the uproar as Harry and Cedric suddenly disappeared after clutching the cup, and the faces of the judges staring round in as much bewilderment as the rest of the crowd.

I can remember the petrifying fear when I realised that it wasn't what was supposed to happen, and the agonising wait for him to return, with every second passing my hope of ever seeing him again fading slightly. I remember Ron comforting me as I sobbed into his shoulder, and the look of utter shock and hopelessness on his own face, as we stared at the last place we'd ever seen him.

I feel embarrassed as well as sick when I remember that night. The most I have ever to spoken to Harry has probably been two sentences, and I was more distraught than his best friend. The whole school knows that I like him I think, but they all think it's just a little schoolgirl crush, and I think it started off like that. But the moment I saw his body return to Hogwarts that night, it's all changed.

The entire population of Hogwarts was crowding around them when they returned, and all I could hear were the shrieks of the people around me 'He's dead, He's dead!' I had no idea they were talking about Cedric and not Harry, and I felt my world crumble around me. It didn't matter to me that much then that Harry never liked me that way, or that I'd probably never talk to him for more than two minutes, but just his presence in the world made everything ok. But the thought that he was gone forever, and that I would never see him again, even if it was from across the common room or great hall, nearly killed me.

The worst thing about that night was not knowing. My mum, Bill and Ron all ran away, left me in the middle of the crowd of screaming students. Fred and George couldn't find me for nearly half an hour as I was swept along in a current of distressed and clueless people. The last I'd seen was Harry staggering to his feet and swaying dangerously, being half dragged away by Professor Moody as Dumbledore was confronted by Amos Diggory and his wife.

The night still haunts me and my nightmares are filled with the vision of Harry arriving suddenly back in the centre of the maze, lying pale and unmoving on the floor. The feeling of complete uselessness and the crowd swarmed around me and I was lost in a sea of hysterically sobbing students.

'Ginny, there's not that much to look at! One book covers the same as all of them,' came a voice, breaking me from my reverie.

I tore my eyes from the book cover I had been unconsciously staring at, and looked to my brother, who was getting really impatient by this time. He wasn't used to shopping with girls, and I think he was wishing Harry were here instead of me.

'I'm sorry Ron,' I said sincerely, which took him by surprise I think.

'Hey Ginny, don't worry! I was just saying you've been staring at the same book for 10 minutes, and mom will be here soon,' said Ron hastily.

'It's ok. You go to the Quidditch shop, and I'll finish up in here, I'll meet you in there in 15 minutes ok?' I told him, cursing my eyes that had decided to start water, against all commands.

'Sure,' Ron told me, walking into the sun and shooting the occasional worried glance at me.

I wiped my eyes hastily when he disappeared from view and continued to search the reduced section of books, in the hope that the books I need where in there. I did actually manage to find my transfiguration, potions and history of magic books, which were still perfectly usable after a bit of TLC. I was feeling pleased that my 10 galleons stretched to buy nearly all of the books, and as I had 5 minutes until I was supposed to meet Ron I decided to search the rest of the bookshop for something to read.

'Good afternoon dear,' came a misty voice from the shadows that startled me so much, I dropped my entire stack of books onto the dusty floor.

'Here, let me help you,' offered the owner of the voice, stooping down to stack the books into my arms.

I looked up to the helpful stranger and smiled offering my thanks. My first impression was that of Professor Trelawney from Hogwarts. She had the same misty personality and floaty voice that caused you to always lower your voice and whisper to her. The lady had long blonde hair that reached down to the woman waist in waves. Her head was wrapped in a bandanna made of navy gauze that complemented her large, sincere blue eyes.

'You look troubled my dear,' said the woman once she had helped me gather all my books.

I laughed quietly, meaning to tell the woman that I was perfectly fine, when my own voice surprised me by answering.

'I'm just worried about a friend,' I blurted out.

'I see. Have you talked to anyone about it? It's always good to talk things through with somebody, it always puts things in perspective,' the woman told me kindly, delicately rearranging her bandanna.

The woman gazed at me with her huge, trustful eyes, and I couldn't help but answer truthfully to her. She was the kind of person you could never lie to, and I was forcefully reminded of Dumbledore.

'There's no-one I can really talk to about it,' I told her truthfully.

'Oh I see, that's a shame for you. Have you tried speaking to your friend about your worries,' asked the woman as she began to tidy the books in the shelves opposite to me.

'Oh,' I laughed going slightly red, 'I can't really talk to him.'

'Really? Curious, I would think your friend would welcome the worry, maybe it would make him feel better to know that someone cared,' the lady told me, and I suddenly got the impression the lady was either very perceptive or reading my mind.

'Probably not, he doesn't really like people to worry about him,' I said.

'Have you ever thought about keeping a diary then? If there's no one around to talk to, it's sometimes helps to get your thoughts onto paper,' said the lady airily, the voice of experience and reason.

I gave a small gasp, and the stack of books that were precariously balanced in my arms fell to the floor in a shower of broken spines and torn pages. I gave a start and threw myself to the floor, picking up the books again, thoughts reeling. The very word 'diary' sends chills of terror through my heart, and brought back painful memories of my first year at Hogwarts.

'Oh I'm sorry my dear. I did not want to upset you,' cried the woman, helping me up.

'You didn't,' I whispered, shuddering slightly.

'Oh I think I did, I'm very sorry. I did not think the idea of keeping a diary would evoke such a violent reaction,' the lady told me, peering anxiously at me.

'It's just...I had a diary once, and something bad happened. I don't like the thought of pouring my soul into something like that,' I told the lady, remembering the feeling of loosing part of yourself slowly to the person you once trusted so much, beyond all people.

'I see. You must not let that one experience mar your judgment though. Millions of people keep diaries every year, with no ill effects. It would help you sort out your thoughts and worries, help assess their importance and see what's really important in your life. I've kept a diary for 30 years now,' said the woman, pulling out a leather bound pocket book from her pocket.

I nodded slowly, thinking about the woman's words. Would it help me? Would I be able to sort out the millions of thoughts in my head if I wrote them down? Half of me was screaming no, bringing more recollections of the pain and terror I was put through by Tom Riddle and his diary, but the other half of me was recalling the beginning, when Tom was good and kind to me. It always helped things by writing them down, and Tom would always assure me, help me and talk to me. Sometimes I actually missed his friendship, someone I could always talk to, who understood everything - or so it seemed. I've got friends at school, but no one I could really talk to about the things that are really important to me - like Harry.

'I bought this diary from a muggle shop in London. Some people don't like the magical diaries that talk back to you. The muggle way was always the best way to me. Who needs the voices in your diary giving you constant commentation on your life? Between you a me,' said the lady bending down to whisper in my ear, 'The magic diaries scare me a little bit!'

I giggled nervously, wondering for a second time if the woman could really read my mind, she seemed so sincere and she was so much like me I couldn't help but trust her.

'Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, I never thought of getting another diary again,' I confessed quietly.

'You should you know, I tell you what, I've got an idea,' she said pulling her wand out from her robes and pointing it at her diary, 'Copia et erasio' I watched quietly as an exact copy of the woman's diary appeared in my hand, and a sudden gust of wind from nowhere blew the pages. The tiny, neat rounded script suddenly disappeared and the pages were left blank and empty. I looked up in wonder at the woman, who smiled kindly down at me.

'There you go, now you've got a brand new diary, which you know is perfectly ok!' said the woman happily, turning to leave.

'Thank you!' I whispered at the retreating back, holding the diary like a precious jewel.

The lady had been so thoughtful and kind, I couldn't remember the last time I spoke to someone for so long, about such serious things. I felt contented and serene until I looked down at my watch. I was 10 minutes late to meet Ron at the Quidditch store! I hurriedly paid for my new books, and ran across the road to meet Ron, swiftly tucking the diary into the back pocket of my baggy jeans. I didn't think Ron would like to see with another diary. In fact I don't think anyone would like to see me with another diary. I began to panic, wondering whether I was doing to right thing, but as I stared down at the innocent muggle book I had to laugh at myself.

I pushed the door open to the Quidditch shop, and was met by a wave of excited chatter and heated arguments in corners of the shop. I soon located Ron who had his face pressed up against a glass cabinet with a full set of Chudley Cannons Quidditch robes. He didn't seem to be aware that I had turned up or that I was actually 10 minutes late. I left him to drool over the robes, as I walked around the cramped store, dodging the crowds.

I felt slightly out of place, I enjoyed watching Quidditch and sometimes even joined in the games with my brothers back at home, but the people in this shop were serious fans and players. Small scuffles broke out periodically as people discussed the latest league table scores and compared teams and their players. I hid in the corner of the shop, leaning my face against the cool glass of another glass cabinet. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the smooth, sleek wooden handle of a broomstick. I felt my throat constrict when I saw the word Firebolt etched into it, which bought another wave of feelings and thoughts about Harry.

I would be happy when I was out of this shop, and away from all the reminders of the subject of thought the brief interlude in the bookstore had relieved me from. I was turning to go when I saw something on the bookshelf that caught my eye. I smiled to myself and picked up the small book.

I ran my fingers across the embossed title, and checked my money pouch quickly to see if I could afford it. I gave a silent prayer of thanks when I realised I had the exact amount of money to buy the book, and rushed to the counter. I paid for the book quickly and placed it into my shopping bag from Flourish and Blotts and headed over to Ron.

'Mum will be waiting for us, were 5 minutes late already,' I whispered in the ear of my drooling brother.

'Oh great!' shouted Ron, grabbing my wrist and running out of the shop. We ran all the way to Gringotts, and laughed with relief when we realised that she hadn't arrived yet.

'Bought anything else?' asked Ron, peering into the large bag.

'No,' I snapped, pulling the bag away abruptly from him. Ron shot me a strange look, but I ignored him and sat on the marble steps, aiming to get a bit of sun before mum turned up. I lay on the step, soaking up the sun hungrily when a shadow crossed my path. I squinted up and realised it was only mum.

'Ready to go you two?' she asked, already leading the way to the Leaky Cauldron's fireplace.

I followed Ron and mum, acutely aware of the diary sticking out my back pocket, and I kept my back to them until we got back home.

I ran up the stairs and after checking my room was completely empty, I pulled the brick from the wall my bed leant against and reached into the cavity. I pulled out an old leather bag. Inside it were my memories. Everything that makes me, pictures I've drawn, photos, cards, letters, trinkets and other things. Every time something new goes into my memory bag, I have to look through everything that was in there already. I like to remind myself of happier memories. I pulled out the family photo of everyone a day before I started Hogwarts. I was smiling radiantly, safe in the knowledge that I was offered a place in the school, and impossibly excited.

I rifled through more photos of birthdays, Christmases, holidays and whenever Fred and George had been able to get a hold of their camera. Beneath the pile of photos was something that makes me blush every time I saw it. It was a book I had been given on my fifth birthday by my parents. It was small, and had a brightly decorated front cover.

'The Boy Who Lived,' I said out loud, smiling at the front cover that depicted a baby with black hair and green eyes.

Everyone had known how You-Know-Who had been defeated, and I had first heard the story when I was only 3 years old. I had grown up knowing the whole legend, and it was core to my belief of the world I lived in when I was little.

Good always overcomes Evil, the good guy always wins, no one ever dies. I laughed hollowly to myself as I took in the well-worn pages, complete with doodles made by younger self. The book never said anything about the pain the little orphaned boy would suffer, how he would grow up unaware of his life, how the good guys don't always win. The bad guys don't even look like the bad guys in the book. Tom Riddle didn't have arching eyebrows or a thin moustache, he didn't always wear black and he never laughed maniacally to himself. That's what made it worse for me. If Tom had acted evil, if he had taunted me and hated me it wouldn't have been so bad. But I trusted Tom with my deepest darkest secrets and fears, and I never knew. Never guessed - till it was too late. How can you trust anyone in this world, if you can't trust someone like that?

I flicked aimlessly through the pages, most of which were taken up by brightly coloured pictures with large bold letters underneath. I really can't believe how I used love this story above all others, how I wished I could be a part of the story.

'...and the whole wizarding world rejoiced, and everyone lived happily ever after,' I read from the last page, accompanied by a picture of a smiling baby held in the arms of his caring adoptive family.

I threw down the book in disgust. But it's not like the books is it? Has Harry lived happily ever after? Will any of us live happily ever after? Will the good guys win?

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	2. New Arrivals

Dear Diary  
  
There's still no news from Harry. It's been nearly a week since his last letter to Ron. Dumbledore assures us he's ok, but I know he's not. Something's happened and he's not telling us. Ron's really worried, and I heard mum and dad having a blazing row last night about it. Dad is happy believing Dumbledore, and it seems mum doesn't care what Dumbledore thinks.  
  
  
  
I feel so helpless, there's nothing I can do or say. Whenever I try to ask Ron about it he just dismisses me, and mum and dad don't seem to listen to me. I've always felt left out from this family, especially about things concerning Harry. Ginny's young, Ginny doesn't know anything.  
  
I'm sorry about the rant, but I'm unbelievably worried the recurring nightmares of the third task are keeping me awake and I'm exhausted. I've taken to sleeping downstairs on the couch - no need to worry about creaking stairs. I'm not sure what to do, maybe I could write to Harry? Or Dumbledore?  
  
No, there's no way I'm doing either of those things. It's only two weeks till Hogwarts start again. I wonder if he had a good birthday? I was going to send him the book I bought at the Quidditch store, but I lost my nerve, he'd just laugh at me, sending him presents when I haven't ever spoken to him really. No, I sit back and wait. If Harry can spend another two weeks with the Dursleys, then I can spend another two weeks at the Burrow.  
  
Ron's shouting at me, I've got to go.  
  
Love Ginny.  
  
'What do you want Ron?' I shouted through my open bedroom window, down to Ron who was in the garden.  
  
'Do you want to come down for dinner or do you want to stay in your room all night?' he shouted back, grinning cheekily.  
  
'I'll be down!' I shouted back, hastily placing my diary in the memory bag, and placing it in the cavity before sealing it with the brick.  
  
I walked slowly down the stairs and seated myself at the table. Every one was there for the first time in a long time. Dad and Percy were back from a long day at the ministry, Bill was on holiday from Gringotts, and Charlie had been sent home to recuperate from a nasty burnt leg he got in Romania.  
  
Mum pushed a plate piled high with food in front of me, and I couldn't help but grimace. My whole family seems to live their lives around food, but I was too worried to want to eat. I picked up my fork and began my well practiced routine of food pushing and piling, so as to make it look like I'd eaten lots when I'd really only taken a few mouthfuls.  
  
Dinner was strained and it seemed mum and dad still hadn't decided on the course of action on the Harry situation, and Ron seemed to be just as upset as I am. I quickly dismissed myself and I decided to go outside.  
  
It was an unnaturally humid English summer evening, and decided to go down to my favorite tree near the garden path to draw. I picked up my pad and pencils, and seated myself in the arms of the tree that had created a platform. I let the muggle pencil flit across the paper, drawing whatever it wanted as my mind wondered. I couldn't help but think what Harry was doing at this very moment. From what Ron had told him, the Dursley's weren't particularly nice people and I felt a horrible uneasiness settle in my stomach. Harry would be all alone for the whole summer, nobody around him who could look after him and protect him and keep him company. Whatever had happened at the end of the third task, I didn't seem like something you'd want to be alone after.  
  
I found myself plotting how I would escape from the Dursleys if I were Harry, but most of the ideas seemed to centre on magic and that was impossible. I looked down at the picture I had been unconsciously drawing and realised with a nasty jolt what it was. It was a gigantic carved chamber, full of snakes that looked as if they were actually writhing on the page. In the centre of the page were two people, wands raised against each other.  
  
I squinted at the scene, trying to work out why I was drawing a picture of twins duelling in the Chamber of Secrets, when I heard a twig snap. I suddenly felt very exposed. It was nearly dark outside and I was outside the protective ward surrounding the house. I dropped my pad and pencil, jumped down out of the tree and squinted fearfully in the darkness, trying to calm my thumping heart.  
  
Your being stupid Ginny, its probably a stray gnome, I told myself, unaware I was gripping a branch in my hand from the floor, wielding it like a beaters club. Again came another snapped twig, this time closer and I could make out a shadow a little darker than the night sky walking towards me. My heart was beating erratically now, and I stepped forward, waving my branch with a shaking hand.  
  
'Stop right there buddy, your trespassing on private property. Now I suggest you turn around and walk right back the way you came' I said in a wavering voice.  
  
The shadow stopped its procession, and stood still for a second. I waited for the person to speak, silently cursing myself for coming out of the protection of the house.  
  
'I'm serious, get lost. We don't want you here' I said a little louder and clearer.  
  
I heard the figure give a chuckle, and I felt myself blushing slightly, this crazy person was laughing at me! I was going to be attacked, and no one would notice I was gone for ages yet.  
  
'You are trespassing buddy, and I don't know what planet you come from, but on this one that's illegal, now get lost.' I shouted out towards the darkness.  
  
'So much for the famous Weasley hospitality' said the figure, in an extremely familiar voice.  
  
I lowered my branch slightly, desperately trying to put a name to the face. The figure stepped forward into the dim glow of the full moon, and gasped out loud. I stumbled backwards, dropping the branch and nearly fell over.  
  
'Tom?' I whispered terror seizing my heart.  
  
There was no mistaking the tall figure that was walking towards me. He was dressed in muggle clothing, but I could see his black hair peeking out from underneath a baseball cap.  
  
'Get away from me' I whispered, backing away quickly from the figure, to the protection of the magic ward.  
  
'No, Ginny, it's me' said the voice worriedly, stepping closer to me.  
  
'H - Harry?' I whispered, comprehension dawning as I recognised the voice.  
  
'That's my name don't wear it out' he laughed, slightly nervous at my reaction to him.  
  
'Harry? What are you doing here?' I asked bewildered, totally forgetting it was Harry Potter I was talking to.  
  
'Oh, I was er, wondering if I could stay at your house for a while?' said Harry evasively, still peering at me from under the shadows of his cap.  
  
'Yeah of course you can. Does everyone know your coming? How did you get here? Why-?' I rambled, trying to get my head around his sudden appearance.  
  
  
  
'I got the Knight Bus to Ottery St Catchpole, and unless your parents have suddenly developed divination techniques to rival Professor Trelawney they don't know I'm coming' laughed Harry nervously.  
  
I giggled at his statement and suddenly the fact that I was not only standing in front of Harry Potter, but that I had just had the longest conversation I had ever had with him. I started to blush thanking god silently that it was dark, and cursing the awkward silence that followed.  
  
'Oh, er come on, it's cold outside' I said after a while, noticing he was shivering.  
  
'Thanks' he said pulling his trunk behind him. 'Here, let me give you a hand' I said noticing that he was having a hard time, and reached for the other handle.  
  
The trunk was extremely heavily, and I wondered silently how he'd managed to carry it all the way from the village to the house, and then I started to wonder why exactly he'd turned up on her doorstep. I stopped for a breather and Harry straightened up as well and sat on the lid of the trunk.  
  
  
  
'How the hell did you manage to carry this all the way from the village? I asked breathing heavily.  
  
'Acting on adrenaline I guess. It's a lot heavier now' he replied, taking off his cap and pushing his sweaty hair from his face.  
  
'Harry, what happened to your eye?' I cried. I jumped up after noticing a deep purple and yellow bruise that had covered the side of one face, and tilted his head so I could see it in the light being cast off by the moon.  
  
I ran my other finger across the large bruise, which was still swelling. Harry flinched slightly, and I suddenly became aware of what I was doing. I dropped my arms to my side and stepped backwards, wringing my hands slightly out of nerves.  
  
'I had an argument with a doorframe' said Harry, shoving his cap back on and getting to his feet. I helped him carry the heavy trunk to the back garden, and paused outside the back door. Everyone was still sat around the dinner table, and I opened the door a crack and poked my head in. Everyone turned to look at me and I cleared my throat nervously.  
  
'Ah, everyone, look who I found outside' I said, stepping out the way. Harry sidled into the room, standing nervously by the doorway, looking ready to bolt.  
  
'HARRY!' came the shout in unison as everyone got up from their chairs and enveloped him in a group hug. 


	3. Nighttime Conversations

Dear Diary  
  
You will never believe what happened! Harry turned up last night! I was scared stiff to be honest, in the shadows he looked like Tom so much that I nearly fainted with fright! I've never thought about it before, but he's the same height, same build, same hair and everything. Anyway, after making a complete fool out of myself I managed to start talking to him, I think I must have been in shock, because I didn't really contemplate that it was him until a little while later, and then it went all quiet and embarrassed.  
  
  
  
Anyway, all was ok until I saw his face - he's got the biggest, most painful looking bruise there. He told me he walked into a doorframe, but I'm not stupid. Someone did that to him. I'm prepared to bet any amount of money that it was his uncle. They must have thrown him out - there's no other reason he would go against Dumbledore's orders! So I completely forgot myself and reached out to touch it, and now I'm squealing with embarrassment, and I think I hurt him as well.  
  
By the time we got to the house, I was back to my shy, awkward self again and when the whole kitchen opened their arms to him, I decided that I needed dome sleep. I'm sorry I didn't write to you last night, but I had so much in my head that I couldn't write it down on paper.  
  
I've kept myself to my room mostly today, and doing jobs around the house. Mum's fixed Harry's face and now there's no mark - apart from his scar of course. I've often noticed it with Harry, but now more clearly than ever. His eyes have a real haunted look - of someone whose seen more things than many people see in a lifetime. Their old looking, as if he's seen all there is to see, and that nothing would ever shock him now. I know hardly anything that's happened in his life, but there must be things that have happened to him to make them like that. Like in his first year when he faced Professor Quirrell and You-Know-Who, and during the Chamber of Secrets, and the Triwizard tournament.  
  
I wonder if he thinks he's like Tom Riddle - I wonder if he knew who I was talking about when I called him Tom last night? I hope not - he already thinks I'm a baby.  
  
I think he's told mum what happened, and definitely Ron, but as usual no one decides to tell Ginny. I'm decided to try a block out his presence in the house like I usually do, and try and stay out of the way until we go back to Hogwarts.  
  
I better go to bed now, mum and dad will be up soon and I don't want them to catch me with this.  
  
Love Ginny  
  
I put my pen down, and closed the book, sighing slightly as the same thought went through my head that always does when I look at the diary. Am I doing the right thing? I shouldn't have the diary and I knew it, it would worry everyone who saw me with it, especially Ron. He was the one who was affected the most by the whole Chamber of Secrets thing. I decided to leave my thoughts till the morning, and placed the diary into the bag and back into the wall.  
  
I pulled the blankets over my head and waited for sleep to overtake my racing thoughts, praying nightmares wouldn't follow me.  
  
I heard a noise and opened my eyes, looking around my room, except, it wasn't my room. It was a large stone chamber and snakes were slithering up the walls. I felt the familiar fear grip me as I looked up from where I was lying, between the legs of a giant statue. Then I saw the two people that were in the chamber with me, twins. Harry and Tom.  
  
The only way I could tell Harry and Tom apart was their clothes - they were dressed in the traditional fairytale colours of black and white. Good and evil.  
  
Tom turned his wand on Harry faster than he could dodge it and there's was a blinding green flash. When I opened my eyes again, there was Harry, lying spread eagle on the floor, eyes staring at me unblinkingly. Tom turned to me, walking slowly laughing at my pathetic attempts to struggle free from the snakes that had bound my hands together.  
  
'You're my best friend Tom...No one understands me like you do...Do you think Harry could ever like me?' mimicked Tom leaning into my face and smiling evilly.  
  
'The good guys always win...No one ever dies...Good always overcomes evil' cackled Tom, 'I hate to tell you Ginny, but your wrong. The bad guys always win because they do whatever it takes to do so, people always die and evil is ever present, I feel it inside of you, inside of Harry. Everyone'  
  
I gave a huge sob as I broke free from the snakes binding my hands together and ran over to Harry, tried to hide behind him and protect myself. His wide green eyes stared back at me, hollow and empty, and his lifeless body was cold to the touch.  
  
'No one to save you this time Ginny' whispered Tom, raising his wand and uttering a curse. A green flash of light blinded my eyes.  
  
'NOOOOOOOO!' I screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed breathing heavily.  
  
I tried desperately to calm my pounding heart, and ran a shaking hand through my hair, waiting to hear if anyone had been woken up. After a few minutes of silence, I was convinced I had got away with it, and I crawled out of my bed and down the stairs.  
  
I walked into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water, before walking into the living room. I fell into the comfy sofa in front of the glowing embers, and nearly screamed when I felt something solid beneath me. I jumped out of the seat and shoved my fist into my mouth to stop me shouting out as I tried to see what I had sat on.  
  
'I don't know if my lap is a comfy as the couch' whispered a familiar voice through the gloom.  
  
'Harry! You nearly gave me a heart attack!' I whispered back, still trying to calm my pounding heart.  
  
I felt my way to the sofa and dropped into the empty space, acutely aware that I was sitting alone, in the dark, with Harry Potter. I could hear Harry sniggering to himself, and I couldn't help but laugh myself, it would have been funny if I hadn't been so scared at the time.  
  
  
  
'What are you doing down here?' he asked after he finished laughing to himself.  
  
'It's my house, What are you doing down here?' I asked pulling the fleecy blanket up to my chin.  
  
'Couldn't sleep' he said simply, and as far as I could tell lying through his teeth. After a long silence I began to relax.  
  
I was sleepier than I thought and my eyes were drooping slightly, I tried to even my breathing so I could fall asleep faster, still aware of who was sitting next to me.  
  
'Your gonna give me a heart attack if you keep sneaking up on me like this' I mumbled probably incoherently through the blanket.  
  
'Hey, you're the one that surprised me this time' said Harry sleepily.  
  
'Why are you here Harry?' I asked before I could stop myself, I was too tired to really care anyway.  
  
'I couldn't sleep with Ron's snoring, it's quieter down here' mumbled Harry.  
  
'No I mean here, at the Burrow' I said, cursing myself for a second time for asking such a stupid question.  
  
'Oh. Had an argument with my uncle' he replied quietly, 'I decided I'd rather face Voldemort than them for another two weeks'  
  
A shiver chased down my spine at the name he spoke out loud, and broke me from my sleepy stupor. My heart was pounding faster again as I thought about my nightmare and whether another one would shortly follow.  
  
'You always have nightmares or is tonight an exception?' mumbled Harry into the arm of the sofa. I stiffened slightly at his question, wondering where the new found perceptiveness had come from - before telling myself I didn't know what his personality was like at all.  
  
'Perhaps. They're more common now than they used to be' I replied evasively.  
  
'Umm I know what you mean' he said. I sat up at this and turned to look at him in wonder. His face was squashed into the arm of the sofa, and he looked nearly asleep. But here he was - the Harry Potter - telling me that he had nightmares all the time? It was surreal, no doubt about that. I lay back into my position, trying to fall asleep. Drowsiness washed over me in waves, until my brain decided sleep was the answer.  
  
'It's all right though. Its all over now' came a voice on the edge of my consciousness before I fell fast asleep. 


	4. An Overheard Conversation

Dear Diary  
  
You would not believe it if I told you that I spent last night sleeping with Harry Potter! Granted it was a couch and granted nothing happened but it's the principle of thing. We spent a few minutes talking, but we were both so tired that we fell straight asleep. But he did tell me something strange. He told me that he has nightmares often, and it made me think.  
  
I've always thought of him as indestructible until the Triwizard tournament and brave and some kind of superhero because in a way he did save my life. But the more I watch him, the more I realise he's just a normal person. He gets happy and sad about normal things, gets angry and shouts like everyone does had nightmares and gets scared like everyone else. This is the side I've never seen before, or chose not to see.  
  
When I woke up the next morning he wasn't there, and I made my way over to the kitchen table. About half an hour later Ron and Harry turned up looking dishevelled and tired. It amazed me that Harry had time to go to sleep on the couch, wake up, get to Ron's room and fall asleep in there as well in short a such space of time. Ron greeted me with his usual early morning grunt, and Harry did the same, delving into a bowl of cereal as if nothing had happened. Thus proving my earlier theory that either Harry doesn't care or just doesn't notice me.  
  
Ginny Weasley...call me Miss Furniture.  
  
Anyway, I better go, I can here Ron calling me which must mean Hermione has arrived. She's taking a direct Floo ride from Viktor Krum's house in Bulgaria - something that has had Ron seething about for over a week. I think it's incredibly funny that everyone sees what doing on except him and Hermione, they must either be blind or stupid, and since be talking about Hermione here, I'm tempted to go with the first.  
  
Love Ginny  
  
I hastily hid my diary, and ran down the stairs ready to great Hermione. I love it when Hermione comes to visit us, I'm the only girl in the whole house apart from mum of course, and sometimes it's nice to stop being one of the guys. I got into the living room, and headed over to the fireplace noticing with a huge grin that not only was Hermione here, but she had her arms around my brother.  
  
'Get a room you two' I said, noticing with a smirk that they jumped apart rather quickly.  
  
'We weren't -' started Ron, whose face was going an interesting shade of red.  
  
'It was only a hug Ginny' said Hermione seriously, whose cheeks also looked slightly flushed.  
  
'Oh really?' I questioned, arching my eyebrows at their discomfort - sometimes it was so obvious.  
  
I became aware of someone trying not to laugh behind me, and I turned around to see Harry leaning against the doorway clutching a piece of toast in his hand. My stomach gave the usual flutter that it did in his presence, and I quickly looked away to save myself any more embarrassment.  
  
'Harry?' shrieked Hermione, running forward and pulling him into a hug, I couldn't help but laugh at the panic spreading across his features as Hermione held him in a head lock.  
  
'Yeah' he choked, prising Hermione away and rubbing his throat slightly.  
  
'What are you doing here?' she asked, looking at Ron for an explanation.  
  
Ron merely shrugged awkwardly, and I noticed Harry's eyes dart nervously in my direction. I can take a hint. Whatever it was, Ginny shouldn't know.  
  
'I'm going outside' I said abruptly, hurrying from the room acutely aware of the eyes following my every move.  
  
I breathed steadily when I got outside, and decided to go for a walk. I pulled on a pair of battered trainers and headed in the direction of my tree. I walked past, meaning to go into the woods around the house when something in the grass caught my eye. It was my sketchbook, still lying where I'd dropped it the night Harry arrived. Thankfully the weather had been good the last few days and the traditional English rain had held off.  
  
I picked up my pad and looked at the picture again, feeling suddenly nervous in case anyone had seen what I had drawn. The one person in the picture was so obviously Harry, and what would they think if I'd been comparing him to Tom? It's really quite uncanny, the similarities between the two. They can both speak Parseltongue, from what Tom told me they were both orphans, raised by muggles, good students and they even look alike.  
  
I found myself feeling slightly scared by the idea, and words from my dream the other night came back to haunt me. 'Evil is ever present, I feel it inside of you, inside of Harry' Tom had told me, was he right? Do I have evil inside me? Does Harry? I suppose everyone must have a dark side, and memories of things I had done in my first year resurfaced. I killed the roosters, I wrote the messages on the wall, I did all of those wrong, evil things - does that make me evil?  
  
I felt slightly nauseous, remembering my first year and the path my thoughts were taking me so I decided to head home. Suddenly the cool woods held fear and loneliness instead of peace and solitude, and I grasped my sketchpad and pencils to me as I ran home. I'm doing it for the exercise I told myself, there's no other reason I'm running.  
  
I got into the house and breathed a sigh of relief, quietly creeping past the living room where Harry, Ron and Hermione were sat hoping to make it to my bedroom unnoticed.  
  
'Dumbledore's coming to see me today' came Harry's voice floating up the stairwell.  
  
I told myself not to listen, not to eavesdrop but there was no other way I would ever find out what was happening.  
  
'What's going to happen?' asked Hermione fearfully.  
  
'He's going to make me go back. I can't stay here. He won't let me' said Harry heavily.  
  
Harry was going back to those people? How could Dumbledore do that? Harry was a million times safer with us, than with the Dursleys. I looked down at my picture, deciding I really ought to try and hide it so I made my way quietly up the stairs.  
  
As I got into my room, I checked for any sign of the twins, who usually enjoyed hiding in there to scare me, and then pulled out a large folder from under my bed. It was full of drawings and paintings I have done of the years, some on parchment, others on muggle paper. There were pictures of the family, pictures of my brothers, friends, animals, scenery. My absolute favourite one of all time is a picture of Ron and Harry, drawn just before the Quidditch World Cup. They had been playing Quidditch themselves and had finally collapsed in a state of exhaustion on the grass. I was thrilled with this picture, their likeness to the real people were amazing and even though I am completely modest about my drawing skills, it's the best I've ever drawn.  
  
I slid the picture of the Chamber of Secrets into a separate file. This was my file full of pictures I've drawn when I'm sad or angry or upset. Most of them had Tom in them I had realised a few months ago, or the Chamber of Secrets, or the Triwizard tournament.  
  
I placed the files under my bed, and hastily rearranged my bedspread as I heard feet approaching my door. It was Ron and Hermione, but instead of coming in, they walked straight up to Ron's room. I felt a little put out, and decided to do some drawing, it usually helped pass the time. I searched everywhere for some pencils, but realised I had left them by the tree, so I made my way downstairs quietly, to search to cupboard in the living room.  
  
There was no one in the room, but the fire was crackling merrily and there was an air of expectancy about the place. I quickly started rooting through the darkness of the cupboard when I heard a voice. I straightened up and when I saw who it was, instinctively stepped into the closet and pulled the door nearly to, closing it until just a fraction light was visible.  
  
'Good morning Harry' came the old voice from the living room.  
  
'Professor' acknowledged Harry, somewhat stiffly in my opinion.  
  
'Harry, you were told to stay at your uncles home, I cannot believe you would take such a risk traveling half way across the country on your own' Dumbledore said, with disappointment lacing his voice.  
  
'I know that Sir, but I couldn't help it. I didn't have anywhere else to go' replied Harry, apparently taken aback by Dumbledore's disappointment.  
  
I shifted uncomfortably in the dark, aware that I was not supposed to be listening to this conversation, and hating eavesdropping, but there was nothing I could do about it now.  
  
'And why did you leave?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'I didn't leave' said Harry angrily, 'I was thrown out'  
  
'I see' said Dumbledore thoughtfully, followed by a long and uncomfortable silence.  
  
I was trying to quieten my breathing which seemed to be magnified by the small closet. The silence lasted a long time, and I had almost thought the conversation had finished when the voices started up again.  
  
'Are you able to go back?' Dumbledore asked.  
  
'I don't know,' said Harry stubbornly, 'But I wouldn't even if I could'  
  
'Harry, you must live with the Dursleys, they are your protection. I have told you this before' said Dumbledore calmly.  
  
'They are not protecting me though' said Harry through gritted teeth,  
  
'They're just making things worse' 'Harry, I can see that you have your problems with them, but running away never sort anything out'  
  
'It's sorted this out good enough for me' said Harry stoically.  
  
'Harry, you may think you are safe here, but let me tell you this. The night you ran away, I know for a fact there were Death Eaters in your area. They are everywhere now and you cannot trust anybody. How would you know if the driver of the Knight Bus was not a Death Eater, or the person you walked past in the street? You will never be safe unless you stick to the rules put in place for your protection' Dumbledore told him severely.  
  
'Screw the rules! I'm not spending one more night in the house, and I won't go back. I rather take my chances' said Harry angrily.  
  
'Harry getting angry with me won't sort this out. This house does not hold the necessary protection to keep you safe, your uncle's house does. You must go back' reasoned Dumbledore.  
  
'No' whispered Harry.  
  
'Harry you must-' started Dumbledore before he was cut off.  
  
'No! I will not go back there' cried Harry passionately.  
  
There was a lingering silence and through the crack in the door I could see Dumbledore watching Harry as he paced across the room. I held my breath as I waited for the conversation to continue.  
  
'Please don't make me go back' pleaded Harry, gazing into the eyes of the headmaster, 'Please'  
  
Dumbledore carried on watching Harry, and seemed to be doing a serious amount of thinking. Finally he stood up and paced the room himself. I prayed that he would let Harry stay, and not make him go back to that house.  
  
'Fine Harry. Have it your way. You may stay here, however, you are not allowed outside of this house and its protective ward, and you must inform someone of your exact movements during the day' said Dumbledore heavily.  
  
'Thank you Sir. I truly mean it' said Harry sincerely.  
  
'Yes well Harry you must be careful. This is against my better judgement. Now show me to Mr and Mrs Weasley, there is much I will need to discuss with them' he said, allowing himself to be led out of the room by a grateful looking Harry.  
  
After a few minutes, when there was no chance of Dumbledore returning I slipped out of the cupboard and darted up the stairs, not stopping until I was safely in my room.  
  
'Where have you been?' came Hermione's disapproving voice, as I turned around to see her and Ron sitting on my bed. 


	5. A Late Birthday Present

Dear Diary  
  
You will not believe what I have just heard. Dumbledore came round here to try and make Harry go back to the Dursleys and they had a really long conversation about it. I've never seen Harry talk so freely and passionately about something. Whatever happened the night when he ran away it must have been bad - and for a moment I thought Dumbledore was going to make him go back.  
  
Harry has been on cloud number 9 ever since Dumbledore allowed him to stay with us though. It doesn't matter him that he can't go out of the garden, just being here seems to make him happy. I am so happy he's here though, I know I've only had two conversations with him since he arrived, but that's two more than last year, which has got to be a good sign.  
  
I thought Ron and Hermione had guessed where I had been after I listened to Harry's conversation with Dumbledore. They were sitting on my bed waiting for me. I managed to stumble an explanation how I'd been in the garden, but Hermione was looking at me very suspiciously. Anyway that was yesterday and ever since I've hardly seen any of them. They're constantly in Ron's room, or out in the garden, and as usual I'm left alone. It's amazing that in a house full of people, I manage to feel so lonely. People constantly surround me, but still I feel like I am all alone. No one here really knows the real Ginny Weasley and sometimes I wish I could stop being sweet little innocent Ginny, and just be someone else, someone different.  
  
I better go, it looks like everyone's heading to the fields to play Quidditch, but mums confined me to the house with this stupid cold. I hope she finds the cure soon, I hate this bunged up feeling.  
  
Love Ginny  
  
I placed my pen down, and picked up my sketchbook and tissues and headed for the living room. I had just settled down and was flipping through my pages trying to find a blank sheet to draw on, when I heard Harry, Ron and Hermione come down the stairs. I carried on looking for a blank page as they walked in.  
  
'Come on, just because I can't go doesn't mean you all have to stay with me' moaned Harry, flopping on the coach opposite me.  
  
'Yes well, me and Ron have a lot of homework we could be doing, don't we Ron?' asked Hermione staring pointedly at Ron, who obviously didn't catch her drift.  
  
'Nah, mines all finished, and you said you had as well' he said, looking confused at Hermione's rolling eyes.  
  
'Precisely, go out and have fun' said Harry apparently annoyed at the great discussion deciding to go outside had caused.  
  
'I don't want to leave you here all alone' said Hermione, still shooting annoyed glances at Ron.  
  
'I'm not going to be on my own. Ginny's here' Harry pointed out, much to the embarrassment of Hermione.  
  
Serves you right I thought, while secretly whooping with joy that Harry had noticed I wasn't a piece of furniture. I looked up and smiled at Hermione, who looked slightly flustered.  
  
'Aren't you coming with us Ginny?' asked Hermione, trying to cover up her blunder.  
  
'Can't. Mom won't let me go outside with this cold' I told her, showing her the box of tissues.  
  
'Come on people lets get this show on the road!' came Fred's shout as everyone piled into the living room, brooms slung over shoulders.  
  
Everyone trooped out, and Hermione ad Ron followed, shooting occasional lances at Harry who was laid back in the chair with his eyes closed. Finally the house emptied of Quidditch fanatics and I became aware that once again, I was alone with Harry Potter.  
  
'Honestly, you'd think they were trying to protect me 24/7' sighed Harry, looking up to the dusty ceiling.  
  
I laughed along with him, and turned to a nearly complete drawing I had found in my sketchbook. It was of a giant bird, with golden feathers and glittering eyes. It looked familiar and I realised that it was the phoenix from the Chamber of Secrets. I gave an involuntary shudder at the memory, and shut the book, suddenly loosing my appetite for drawing. Harry was still sprawled across the chair, looking incredibly bored and I decided to bite the bullet. Be someone else for a while I said to myself as I pulled the chessboard from the shelf.  
  
'You want to play?' I asked, motioning to the chessboard, praying he didn't say no.  
  
'Sure. But I must warn you, I suck big time' said Harry, pulling himself up and sitting in front of the board.  
  
'Black or white?' he asked me, looking at the pieces.  
  
Suddenly the image of my dream came into my mind, black and white, good and evil. I stared thoughtfully down at the chess pieces, trying to decide which one I would be. One of us would have to be the evil side I thought as I looked from piece to piece.  
  
'You don't need to think about it so much you know' said Harry laughing and spinning to board towards him, 'You can be white, that way you go first'  
  
'Sure' I said, looking down at the pieces, suddenly I didn't really feel like playing anymore. We played in silence for a few minutes and began to really regret asking to play, I was happy before with my sketchbook.  
  
'So, you looking forward to going back to school?' asked Harry, breaking me out of my reverie.  
  
'Yeah, this house gets a little claustrophobic' I answered while moving my queen across the board, 'What about you?'  
  
'I suppose so, I'm a bit worried to tell you the truth' he admitted, flinching as my queen wrestled his knight to the floor.  
  
'Why is that?'  
  
'Oh, just worried about people reactions, and the end of last year' he told me. I looked up and studied his face that was screwed up in concentration. He seemed to be talking in autopilot, like when you're totally preoccupied by something. I ran my fingers through my hair haphazardly, and paid attention to the game in hand, and lifetime's worth of games against Ron had taught me a few things.  
  
'I'm sure it will be ok. You did the right thing' I said, feeling my face flush with unreasonable embarrassment. 'Cedric's parents are very grateful' I said.  
  
'Fat lot of good it did though didn't it?' he said, eyes downcast and face glum.  
  
'Ask his parents that and see what they say' I told him, preparing to end the game.  
  
'Yeah well...' he said, unable to think of anything to say.  
  
The was a long silence, and I continued playing the game, wishing the new person I was trying to be was a bit more different than me.  
  
'Checkmate' I told him, leaning back in my chair smiling slightly.  
  
'You've been taking lessons off Ron haven't you? Admit it' said Harry, pushing away the board and resuming his previous position on the couch.  
  
'Maybe' I said evasively, and pulling out my sketchpad and finding a blank page again.  
  
I drew out my pencils and looked thoughtfully around for inspiration. I noticed Harry was looking decidedly bored, so the new Ginny made a decision.  
  
'I've got something for you, let me just go and get it' I said, getting out of my chair and quickly moving up the stairs. I returned a few moments later to see a bewildered Harry watching me.  
  
'I bought it in Diagon Alley a few weeks ago, I was going to give it to you for your birthday but I guess I must have forgotten about it' I said in a rush handing him the book.  
  
'Hogwarts: A Quidditch History' Harry read, looking up with amusement and amazement.  
  
'It's one of those books that continually updates itself, see you're in there' I said pointing to them team photograph from two years before.  
  
The whole team was stood around their brooms holding up the Quidditch Cup. Fred and George were holding up Harry who was beaming and Oliver Wood was holding the Cup aloft with a look of pure ecstasy on his face.  
  
'Wow Ginny' Harry breathed, 'this is amazing!' I sat back a sighed contentedly to myself, as Harry spent the next hour and a half submerged in the book.  
  
I had looked through it before I got it and it detailed every match in Hogwarts since the game was invented including all the teams' names, statistics, records and matches. I had read the entire page of Harry, entitled 'youngest seeker in a century', and it was quite strange. There was not one mention of his past, and for the first time he was in a book for something he did, instead of something that happened to him.  
  
'You like it?' I asked after he had sat in the position for over two hours.  
  
  
  
'It's fantastic, there's stuff in here I've never heard about!' said Harry excitedly.  
  
I smiled to myself. I like the new Ginny I thought as I watched his happy childlike face, the old Ginny would never have dreamed of actually giving him the book.  
  
'I'm glad' I said, continuing with my picture. 


	6. The Nightmare

Dear Diary,  
  
After the initial good start to the holiday with Harry, its all gone downhill. The new Ginny decided she would rather not make an appearance and after a few more tried and failed times trying to speak to Harry, I've decided to give up. He loved the book, and I'm so glad I decided to give it to him, but lately he'd become very distant.  
  
I've heard him moving around downstairs, a few nights in a row, which must mean he's having nightmares or can't sleep through Ron's snoring. My own nightmares are becoming more frequent, but I'm always to scared to go downstairs now, in case he's there.  
  
I wonder where he's going to live if his uncle and aunt have really thrown him out? I'm sure mum would hesitate in giving Harry a room, but Dumbledore says there isn't enough protection on this house for him. I wonder what it must be like, stuck in this house constantly, because it's to dangerous to even go outside for fear of being attacked? What kind of life can you have if you spent your whole life in hiding?  
  
I'm so glad I'm just boring old Ginny Weasley, I'd hate to have his life. It's only a week till Hogwarts now and then it's over for another year until he comes back to the Burrow.  
  
Oh well, I better go and get dinner, everyone's waiting for me.  
  
Love Ginny.  
  
*  
  
I was having a nightmare, and I knew it. It's one of the nightmares where you know your dreaming, but there's nothing you can do until it's run it's full course. Tom Riddle was teasing me as usual, and I was trying to fight back and get away.  
  
'I'm coming to get you Ginny' he was saying, shaking me slightly.  
  
'Get away from me, please' I moaned, twisting and turning in his vice like grip.  
  
'There's no one here to save you now' he said, laughing evilly.  
  
'Please, leave me alone'  
  
'Ginny!'  
  
'Get away from me Tom'  
  
'Ginny!' I felt myself being shaken and my eyes flew open.  
  
The living room was dark, and the only light was coming from the fire. Someone was leant over me, grasping my wrist.  
  
'Tom...Please leave me alone' I cried trying to struggle free from the hand.  
  
'Ginny, it's ok, it's me' said the voice.  
  
'No, no, no, get away from me' I shouted, pushing and kicking at the person in front of me.  
  
The hands left my wrists and I jumped to my feet and darted behind the couch, disorientated by the darkness and the tears blurring my vision I ran into something solid.  
  
'Ginny, it's me Harry' said the something solid I'd just walked into.  
  
'H - Harry?' I questioned blankly.  
  
'Yeah Ginny it's only me, you were having a nightmare' said the voice, stepping forward into the light so I could see his face again. I stumbled backwards away from him, aware of how much the light made his features seem eerie, It could be Tom in front of me and I wouldn't know.  
  
'Hey are you ok?' asked Harry, stepping towards me again.  
  
'I'm fine' I gasped, after taking another step backwards.  
  
'I'm not going to hurt you, you know' he said, no doubt worried by my strange reaction to him.  
  
'I know that' I replied weakly, backing away from him further.  
  
'Are you sure your ok?' he asked anxiously.  
  
'Stop doing that' I said shrilly, loosing my head after the fear of my dream.  
  
'Doing what?' 'Stop coming after me, you're scaring me' I cried as he moved closer again.  
  
'Ginny I'm sorry, I'm not trying to scare you, I just want to see if you're ok' said Harry, stopping in his tracks, looking shocked by the firelight.  
  
'I'm fine, I'm fine now, you just scared me that's all' I said shakily, trying to regain some kind of calm 'You just look like him that's all'  
  
'Like who?' asked Harry.  
  
'No one. It was just a dream, just a stupid dream' I said calming myself.  
  
'Tom...' Harry whispered, comprehension suddenly dawning, '...you think I look like Tom'  
  
'No I don't, not at all, no way' I rambled, clutching he blanket to me slightly.  
  
'You keep saying it, you said it when I arrived as well' he said accusingly.  
  
I felt completely helpless, Harry knew what I thought about him. He knew I thought he looked like Tom, he hated me. He'd noticed I called him that before as well, I felt a flush creeping up my neck.  
  
'I'm not like him Ginny' said Harry quietly.  
  
'I know your not' I said dropping my arms to my sides in hopelessness, 'It's just you scared me, I was dreaming about him, and I woke up to see you, I'm tired and irrational. I'm sorry'  
  
Harry nodded as if he understood, but I felt my apology was too insignificant and petty.  
  
'Your not like him at all Harry. You're good and kind and brave, and he was a liar and a traitor. You're not the same at all' I said passionately, trying to make amends.  
  
'I'm none of those things Ginny. You think I'm some kind of superhero or something. But I'm not, I'm just a normal person' said Harry heavily, apparently I'd said the wrong thing again.  
  
'I know that now. I'm sorry' I sat said, walking past him and climbing the stairs to my bedroom.  
  
I climbed into my own bed and pulled the covers over my head, and tried to fall asleep again. The conversation I'd just had with Harry kept running through my head, I groaned into my pillow as I thought about how stupid I'd been, of course it couldn't have been Tom, why was I being so stupid, and now I'd gone and hurt Harry. I'm a stupid, stupid girl I cursed myself. 


	7. The Cold Cure

Dear Diary  
  
What a horrible, horrible day I've had today. Not only did I absolutely freak Harry out by having a nightmare, but also I told him he reminded me of Tom Riddle. Who would want to hear that they reminded you of one of the most powerful dark wizards of our time's younger self? Oh it's too terrible.  
  
I get squeamish when I think about, but thankfully, I haven't had to worry about seeing Harry today. My colds got a million times worse and I've decided to stay in bed all day. I haven't seen his since I ran out of the room last night, and I don't want too ever again. Oh what am I talking about? Of course I want to see him again, I just wish that last night never happened. Maybe there's a spell around that can do it?  
  
It's worth checking out, but at the moment the solitude of my room is perfectly satisfactory. I can't wait to get to Hogwarts so I can avoid him, this house is so claustrophobic sometimes. I still can't believe I was so stupid. I probably said one of the most hurtful, nasty things to someone I've ever said - and it was to Harry.  
  
Oh god, kill me now, please.  
  
I've got to go.  
  
Love Ginny.  
  
I put my pen down and swiftly hid my diary and snuggled down into my bed, wrapping the thick folds of material around my bunged up head. Why oh why did I say that last night? It was so obviously Harry - how could I be so stupid?  
  
'Knock Knock' came a cheerful voice on my bedroom door.  
  
'Hmmm' I said, opening my eyes slightly to look at the person who had just walked into my room.  
  
'Hey Ginny, I got you some soup' said Hermione, kneeling down by my bedside.  
  
'Thanks' I told her, propping myself on my elbows.  
  
'God you look terrible' said Hermione, before blushing, 'No offence I mean, you've just that sickly look to you, and there's a whole set of luggage under your eyes.  
  
'Oh gee, thanks Hermione' I said sarcastically, not bothering to tell her the eyes weren't from the cold, it was from the whole night I had spent awake.  
  
'Don't worry, your mom's found the cure, she's cooking it up right now, you should be able to come downstairs in half an hour. You can help me beat Harry and Ron at chess' said Hermione playfully.  
  
'Uh uh, no way, I'm staying in bed' I said, spooning the thick chicken soup into my mouth, grimacing at my sore throat.  
  
'Aw come on Gin, Harry'll be there' Hermione wheedled.  
  
'Exactly' I muttered, instantly regretting it.  
  
'Gin, you don't need to be embarrassed about him now. I think Harry's really made a friend in you this holiday' said Hermione knowledgeably, 'Anyway, he's a bit down today, he could do with some cheering up'  
  
I nearly choked on my soup, as I looked fearfully at Hermione - had Harry told her? I sighed in frustration and bit my lip as I thought about last night. Against all hope and prayers my eyes started to get blurry with tears, and unfortunately Hermione was still in the room. Before I could stop myself the salty tears began to trickle down my face, and I drew in a shuddery breath, trying to control my emotions.  
  
'Ginny? What's wrong? Oh come here' said Hermione anxiously pulling me into a hug. I shrugged her away and wiped my face forcefully with the back of my hand, cursing myself for being such a baby.  
  
'I'm so stupid' I scolded myself.  
  
'Ginny - your not stupid. Never think that' Hermione reprimanded me, looking intently into my eyes, 'What's wrong?'  
  
'I did something really stupid Hermione' I said gloomily, picking at the fraying edge of my pillow, willing Hermione to get up and leave.  
  
'What?' 'I said something incredibly, amazing stupid and hurtful to Harry last night. I didn't mean to, it just came out and now-' I whispered, struggling against my tears again.  
  
'Come on Ginny, you can tell me' said Hermione, settling on the bed in front of me, obviously not about to go away.  
  
I took a deep shuddering breath, and launched into the story of what happened last night, starting with my dream, and waking up and then what I said to Harry. I felt my face flush an impossibly deep shade of red when I told her what I'd called him, and what he'd said.  
  
'Oh Hermione, what am I going to do?' I cried after I finished, clutching my face in my hands with fresh tears pouring down my face.  
  
'Oh Ginny, it's not as bad as you think. You apologised, I'm sure Harry doesn't hate you. He been called a lot worse than that you know' said Hermione, shocked at the state I was in I think.  
  
'It is as bad as I think, nobody ever said he was like Tom did they? I can't believe I said it, I was so upset, and it's been hovering in the back of my mind for ages. What's he going to think of me now?' I cried.  
  
'Don't worry Ginny, he has a lot more important things to think about, we all do. You wait and see, it'll all be forgotten in a few days, and we'll laugh about this' said Hermione consolingly.  
  
I gave a watery smile, hoping against all hope that Hermione was right.  
  
'That's better, now you eat your soup, and I'll bring up your medicine in a minute. I'll go and speak to Harry, and we can go down and have a game of chess' said Hermione brightly.  
  
She gave me an encouraging smile, and walked out the room. I ate a few more spoonfuls of the soup, and then poured the rest of it down the sink. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm anorexic or something - I just can't stand the huge meals that everyone eats in this house.  
  
Half an hour later Hermione came in, smoking goblet in hand, forcing me to drink every last bitter drop.  
  
'Lets face the music' said Hermione pulling me out of bed. I threw on a pair of jeans, and donned a baseball cap Bill had sent me after a visit to America. I loved the cap because it always smelled of him, and the long peak could be a useful aid when you wanted to hide your eyes. It was a favourite for long family picnics and long lost relative meetings as I could safely sleep while looking as though I was merely shy.  
  
The potion began to take effect and my nose was getting a lot clearer as I stumbled down the stairs, feeling as though my legs were under the jelly legs curse. I walked into the living room, and realised that Harry was there - sitting right next to Ron. My stomach gave a horrible guilty churn as I watch my feet doing the walking. I could feel his eyes on my back, and I flopped into the seat furthest away from them regretting coming out of the warmth and security of my bed.  
  
'Are you feeling better Ginny?' came a voice from the opposite side of the room. I looked up, and my eyes met a pair of startling green ones looking right at me, accompanied by a small smile. I felt the familiar feelings of a flush creeping up my neck, and felt like I did when I first knew him - shy and stupid.  
  
'Ginny? Are you ok?' he asked again - apparently worried by the amount of time it was taking me to answer.  
  
'Uh yeah, I'm fine now' I said stupidly a few moments later - why can't I put together a normal sentence? I sat in my chair, acutely aware of Ron's bewildered stare, Hermione's beaming smile, and Harry's thoughtful expression.  
  
I gave an uncomfortable squirm and I wished they would stop staring at me and do something. While secretly wondering if Harry had really forgiven me, or whether Hermione had put him up to it. Finally the three got down to their own work. Ron and Harry were playing chess, and Hermione came and sat by me, and we played exploding snap for while. The sun was sinking and soon I could hear mum rattling pots and pans ready for dinner.  
  
'We should go and help your mum make dinner Ron' said Hermione, urging Ron away from the room for no reason I could imagine.  
  
'Yeah ok' said Ron grudgingly abandoning the game and following her out of the room.  
  
I laughed to myself at Hermione, but inside my heart was thudding uncomfortably, again I was all alone with Harry - but I wish I was just on my own. My thoughts returned to last night, and I covered my face with my hands in horror of the thought. I wonder is Harry really had forgiven me, or am I asking too much? The seconds crawled by, and I fidgeted nervously, aware of the uncomfortable silence in the air. The whole house seemed still, even the twins were being quiet, and it was if the whole place was holding its breath, waiting for something.  
  
'Listen Harry about last night...' I started, keeping my eyes safely hidden beneath the cap.  
  
Forget it, it's not important' said Harry bluntly.  
  
'It is though. I'm really sorry, I didn't know what I was saying I was so distracted by my nightmare and it was dark and I couldn't see you, I was just being paranoid' I tried to explain, trying to make him understand my completely stupid blunder.  
  
'I understand. Really I do. Now lets just forget about it ok?' said Harry, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.  
  
'No, I want you to understand that truly you aren't like him at all. Your the exact opposite to everything he stands for, you just look a little alike that's all' I finished meekly, realising my apology wasn't really going the way I wanted it to.  
  
'It's ok Ginny, you don't need to be so apologetic. The same thoughts went through my head after the Chamber of Secrets and everything - even he said it. It's just one of those strange things' Harry told me.  
  
I looked up for the first time, and saw that he was toying with a hole that was in the couch arm, pulling the fluff out of it. And it made me suddenly think, out of all the people in the world, were the only one's who ever knew what really happened in the Chamber, were the only ones that met Tom Riddle there. Sure, people had heard what had happened in the chamber, and people must have known Tom at school - but we were the only ones that were really there, and saw what he was capable of. I couldn't help but wonder, what Harry would have said when Tom told him they were alike, did he believe it? Did he accept it? Or did he fight back? I'd probably never find out, it was between Tom and Harry, he wasn't the kind of person to go around talking to people about things like that.  
  
'You know, you think you get over something, but you don't really - it haunts you, comes back when you least expect it, and the smallest thing can trigger it off' I said to myself quietly but apparently loud enough for Harry to hear.  
  
'Yeah well we've been through more than other people have, but you just have to let go Ginny. Accept it, deal with it and get over it. Tom can't hurt you anymore, you seem to live your life on edge, expecting him to turn up any minute' said Harry looking at me quizzically.  
  
'I know. I do.' I said heavily, 'Do you do that though? Accept it, deal with it and get over it?'  
  
'I try' shrugged Harry, 'You don't have to be afraid anymore Ginny'  
  
I stared at him in wonder, as he got up and walked over to me, offering a hand to help me up.  
  
'You really are nothing like him Harry' I said, as if suddenly realising something that was in front of my face the whole time.  
  
'Thanks' he said, apparently accepting my earnestness as the final word. 


	8. I've Known What Love Is

Dear Diary,  
  
I sorted everything out with Harry! I still can't believe I acted so stupid, but it's all over now, and Hermione's right I can laugh about it. Ever since Harry arrived this holiday, I've been thinking about the Chamber of Secrets and Tom. I've been so preoccupied with my memories of the past, I forgotten to look to the future, and I think I needed something like Harry and this holiday to point that out to me.  
  
Ever since the night in the Chamber of Secrets, I've been afraid, without even knowing it. Tom may have been defeated that night by Harry, but he still lived on inside my head, inside my thoughts and dreams. And ever since that night, he's been winning. I haven't been strong enough to fight him, and everyday I felt a little bit more defeated, a little bit more scared, a little bit more lost.  
  
Since Harry turned up, I've been imagining that night, and Tom, and he just succeeded in hurting me a little bit more, until I didn't think I could fight anymore. But the other night after my dream when I told Harry those things - I think it was truly a blessing in disguise. Harry made me see him for who he truly was - just a normal person. And he does get scared, and he does get frightened, and I think it's shown me that it's all right.  
  
Tom's not going to make me live in fear anymore, he's not going to rule my life, I'm just going to accept the Chamber of Secrets had happened, I'm going to deal with it and I'm going to get over it. Look to a new beginning - because he's given me something... hope.  
  
And I think I'm finally ready to say what has been growing inside me since the night of the third task, ever since I realised I could lose him, and never see him again. To say what it is that makes me not want to spend another day in the world if Harry Potter wasn't in it.  
  
I love him.  
  
And that's all there is to it.  
  
And I don't care if he will never love me, because I've known what love is.  
  
  
  
Love Ginny. 


End file.
